Monday 19 December 2016

The Problem With Experiments

Science proceeds through experiment. You have an idea, sounds like a good one, the theory checks out but the only way you're going to be sure is to run a few tests and get some results. And sometimes the idea turns out to have been...

We have lift... oh.


And so it appears to have been in the case of my new super wonder drug trial as after all the scans and pokeage results came back in the conversation went something like this.

"Well it hasn't had a very good response. In fact it's grown. It's now in your peritoneum, you've got ascites and we found a blood clot in your lungs."

"So nothing at all then?"


"Not even a mix up in the lab and you've accidentally injected me full of duck serum and I'm going to be able to call myself Captain Quack and fight crime with my amazing beak powers?"

"We can refer you to psychiatric services if you like Mr Dragon."

But that's the price of progress, I guess that they'll get some results from the tests and maybe work a way of giving the drug better or maybe it just doesn't work with my particular genes. At least it's not made me worse as the disease has just progressed as it would have done anyway.

And unfortunately progressing it is. I'm now on constant medication for pain and blimey don't you know if you miss a dose as most of your internal organs immediately kick up one hell of a fuss. And that ascites thing, which sounds like it ought to be the name of some ancient Greek king who was punished for walking in on Zeus when he was having it away in the form of a swan but is in fact an accumulation of fluid in the abdominal cavity, is making eating somewhat difficult. Everything sort of pushes against each other so I feel like I've had a massive roast dinner after only eating a slice of toast. On the plus side though it does mean I have to eat very high calorie foods, loads of full cream and butter type stuff that doctors tell you to avoid.

And the blood clots? Well that'll go away on its own apparently but a bit like self service checkouts your dragon now has to stick a needle in himself every day with a shot of Dalteparin, an anti coagulant drug they normally give to people with DVT, to make sure it doesn't come back

So anyway I've decided to take Xmas and the new year off from hospitals as quite frankly I'm pig sick of the places and I'm curling up on the sofa for a couple of weeks. I'm back to see the docs in early January and there are other things we might be able to try but I'm wondering of it's getting to the stage where rather than buying more time I'll be concentrating on buying more comfort instead.

Which suits me. I like comfortable.