"You've Got Cancer"

I'm pretty sure that's what he said, it was quite direct anyway. A few minutes earlier the doctor who just handed down the words nobody ever wants to hear had been fiddling with a camera inside my guts and although I was partly sedated I could see on the screen that they kept returning to this white blob, eventually squirting it with something that made it into a black blob.

I should have figured at the time the gig was up, I blame the happy drugs they gave me as I was away with the unicorns ;)

The Mrs, who we'll call Tiger in this blog* took this news rather worse than I did (in fact I think my only response at the time was to go "On, that sucks" - unicorns you see) and for some reason the doctor giving me the news then seemed to address everything else to her. I almost felt like saying "Hey dude, I'm the one with the disease, remember?" but as I'm currently learning the mere mention of the "The C Word" seems to have the power to make everyone lose their marbles.

So anywhere there you go, that's how this got started.

I'm really not expecting anyone to read this blog, it's really just for me to scribble down thoughts and feelings and get shit off my chest. Hopefully thought it'll be a bit factual if you're going through something similar and maybe I'll squeeze an off-colour joke or two to do with bowel functions that'll make you smile.

But anyway, the colonoscopy is done, the pain killers have worn off and I'm still pretty stoical about the whole thing. I'm not in denial, I know it's there and it's serious its just I seem to have skipped the whole "seven stages of grief" stuff** and gone straight to acceptance (do not pass Go, do not collect £200). I'm just waiting for the next set of tests - that's a CAT scan scheduled for next week - and then all the clever doctors get together to decide a plan of action for treatment.

I'll probably start wibbling around then.





* because its not her name and it gives me the opportunity for very lame "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" based puns going forward.

** do not take that website seriously, they've used Comic Sans, the typeface of morons.